So Happy I Could Cry
by xxsewnlipsxx
Summary: Alistair is going to get married to Anora and become king. There really is no need for an elven lover on the side. Mahariel has promised to stay long enough for the ceremony. Mahariel/Alistair/Zevran Songfic


**Title: So Happy I Could Cry**

**Rating: K+**

**Summary: Alistair is going to get married to Anora and become king. There really is no need for an elven lover on the side, now is there? Mahariel has promised to stay long enough for the ceremony. Mahariel/Alistair/Zevran Songfic**

**Author's Note: Song is Happy by Saving Jane. I recommend listening while reading. Helps with the effect. **_**Merci.**_

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So Happy I Could Cry

_Filling up my empty days with red wine_

_Wonder what you think of me_

_Lying in the grass alone and wasted_

_Nothing's how it used to be_

She was absolutely stunning in a red velvet dress that slipped down over her thighs and waist, hugging them tightly. Her breasts were plumped up and on display for the entire court to see. Her skin was the color of the washed out moon, luminescent under the bright torch light. Silver tresses were piled up on her head in an elegant bun, a few of the curls allowed loose to hang in her face. Zevran tucked one gently around her pointed ear while she laughed at another joke the bard told. He was not listening. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She hated dresses and would have much preferred to wear armor to the wedding. Though she put on a good show, it was clear how much she was suffering by the third wine glass in her hand and the pain carefully hidden behind arctic eyes.

_I want to be the first to call and tell you_

_Yesterday I heard the news_

_I hear you ought to be congratulated_

_So I guess that's what I'll do_

Alistair and Anora sat on the dais, greeting each guest who had attended the wedding. Zevran wanted to hold her hand. Her expression was so fragile, like that of a child, broken and wounded. He almost couldn't help himself, but as she stepped up to greet Alistair, her face broke out into a smile. She shook hands with both Anora and Alistair, giving her congratulations. Zevran couldn't quite contain the pure hatred on his face, or the way he squeezed Alistair's hand just a little too hard. He also couldn't help but notice the pain in the new king's eyes as he watched her sweep away in a flurry of red silk. Zevran bowed his head respectfully to Anora and trailed behind Mahariel.

_Listen to the sound of my head pounding_

_Wish that it was make believe_

_Praying for the sky to open up and_

_Wash away your memory_

It was raining. She had wandered out into the gardens where it was raining. Droplets weighed down the petals of beautiful flowers, arching up towards the sky. It almost looked like she was a crying, a thousand tiny diamonds running down her face and drenching her gown. The grass smelled sweet, and the flowers were beautiful. Nothing was quite as glorious as she was. Her elven face was tilted up toward the sky, shoulders still and purposeful. Her face didn't blotch an angry red. She didn't hiccough or scream. Her nose didn't run. In fact, had he not spent the last few months watching her ever so closely, Zevran himself might not have known she was crying. As resolute as the stone and powerful as an archdemon, Mahariel stood in the rain with her head held high with a few tiny, insignificant tears running down her face. He realized he loved her then and felt a rush of true anger at Alistair for causing her pain.

_I can walk around with a pretty face on_

_Even when I'm black and blue_

_What's the point in telling everybody _

_I'm not over you?_

Zevran put a hand on her shoulder, and immediately her face exploded into one of embarrassment. A dainty fingertip swiped at her tears, the black kohl around her eyes running like dark rivers down her face. She muttered an apology and made a comment about how long it had taken Leliana to do her makeup, but he wasn't listening again. He was studying her eyes, the depthless orbs set into her face. They weren't really eyes, more like tiny stars set into the perfect bones of her face. The sadness there was crushing, the absolute desperation of her situation settling onto his shoulders like a heavy coat in the middle of spring. Wanting someone who you could never have...yes, he understood that feeling.

_I'm so happy for you I could cry_

_Yeah, I'm so elated_

_Cross my heart and hope to die_

_I don't think about you every night_

_Before I close my eyes_

_I'm so happy for you baby, I could_

_Cry._

Suddenly, she seemed to break down. The red, ugly blotches that stained human women when they cried always seemed to add to their despair, but he realized that without them she looked so forlorn and forgotten. He'd always thought she was more of a spirit than a human. She was too pretty, too pure to be touched by all the darkness. Too good for his evil, he had thought. His companionship, his camaraderie could keep her safe, but his love would only destroy her. He was the one she was supposed to need protection from. But it had been Alistair all along.

She threw herself into his arms, plump breasts crushed against his chest, nose buried in his neck, arms thrown about waist, seeking comfort, love, anything. He embraced her back full force, inhaling the rich Dalish perfume and the smell of rain. Her tears stained his neck, and he glanced up towards the sky as she sobbed nearly desperately into his clothes.

_I'm so happy for you baby, I could cry_

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**Old, but I wanted to upload it since I'm dealing with all this family stuff. I was going to delete it, but I thought, why the hell not? It's awful, I know. Um, so bad news guys that read Snow and Ice. Someone has stolen my flash drive, the device which had all of the chapter I'd written so far. I have to start from scratch. Trust me, it was more devastating to me because my book was on the damn thing! Ugh, review please. Thanks for reading.**


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